In Australia, the 28th of January 2013 heralds Australia Day. Since I’m too lazy for flag waving, face painting or cane toad racing, I thought I’d instead list ten erotic romance scenarios based on Australia Day.
Here we go…
1. Fifi whips herself up a ravishing frock made from the Australian flag to wear to her local Australia Day party. Unfortunately, during her impromptu Macarena performance, several important stitches come undone and the hero is forced to fling his body over hers to cover her unmentionables. Romance ensues.
2. Lola is a professional lamington and pavlova sculptor. Since she’s just starting out in the business, there’s no way she can decline when the local BDSM club invite her to cater their Australia Day event. There’s trouble when several dungeon masters decide she’s tastier than her lamingtons. Felicity, a big-breasted dominatrix, fights them off with her cat ‘o nine tails to save her. Romance ensues.
3. Max, a lifesaver, is running across a car park to catch up with the Mr Whippy van when he trips over the lip of his Australia Day thong and is knocked unconscious. Kind-hearted Fay helps him to his feet, straightens his Speedos and takes him to the doctor. Turns out Max has amnesia from the fall so she lets him stay at her one-bedroom apartment until he regains his memory. Romance ensues.
4. When former copper, Mick, sees the way Jonno wraps his lips around a didgeridoo, he knows he’s found the man for him. But by the end of the Australia Day party the priceless didgeridoo has gone missing and Jonno’s in deep doo-doo. Mick uses his policing skills to help Jonno track down the missing didgeridoo. Romance ensues.
5. On Australia Day, Gemma from America decides to watch a three-day cricket match with her new Aussie friend. Not having had years to develop the required immunity to boredom, she falls into a coma on the second day. A handsome stranger leaps up from his seat and revives her with emergency cunnilingus. Romance ensues.
6. At the beach, Daisy uses her Australia Day face paint to write ‘eat me’ on her belly. Several fellow bathers take the message literally. Romance ensues.
7. Bianca and Toby eye off the same sausage at a sausage sizzle. They both make a grab for it, Toby gets his hand over it but Bianca wrestles him to the ground. She chokes him with a headlock until he passes out. She eats the sausage. He regains consciousness. Romance ensues.
8. At the Menage Appreciation Society’s Australia Day party, three strangers (Doris, Ben and Martin) compete in the ‘three-way kiss under the flag’ competition and win a free trip to Budgewoi for a week. Romance ensues.
9. After winning big at an Australia Day game of two-up, Meg gets rip-snorting drunk and wakes up with a male swimwear model. Never one to complain about the cards that life deals her, she lures him into staying longer with her fine cooking and Karma Sutra colouring-in book. Romance ensues.
10. When Delilah stays at her boyfriend’s place for Australia Day, she decides to bring her pet cockatoo with her. Wally the cockatoo finds himself trapped in a cage with Esme the Galah. Feathers fly, but during the day they overcome their species differences. Romance ensues.
If these Australia Day scenarios have whet your appetite for more Oz-themed erotic romance, check out A Sporting Chance (which is set on Australia Day) and the other Hot Down Under stories on Amazon.